Two weeks off

I'm finally getting better. It has been a long two weeks of doctor's appointments and prescriptions, but I am now feeling almost back to normal. The only bad part is that I'm not done. I have a kidney stone in my kidney that I have to get taken care of soon. But until then I'm back on my quest. I thought I would lose some weight being sick and I did that first week, I made it down to 155. The second week though I gained it all back. So this morning I'm at 158. The problem last week was taking some medicine that made me feel sick if I ever had an empty stomach. My desire to "diet", while I was sick was none so here I am. I feel like I've taken two steps forward and one step back.

I did start the 30 day shred DVD that I talked about earlier. And I love it. I actually really like the Jillian girl. She is so much better than some of the ladies on these DVD's. And the work out is great. It is only 20 minutes and it goes through things fast. I also like how easy it is to do. I'm only two days in but right now I'm really happy about it and I actually look forward to doing the work-out.

Kidney Beans

I hate kidney beans, and right now I hate my kidney's too. My "bad back" turned out to be infected kidney's. Holy crap, does it suck. I've been in pain for days. Wednesday was the worst and each day was getting better...until today. Now I am nauseated and have a headache to go with my awesome back pain. So I haven't eaten for two days. Bad for me, good for the scale.

I have decided that anorexia probably isn't an option. I had to fast for a CT scan yesterday and doing that made me realize how many times I just grab a handful of this or that. I'll pour a bowl of coco puffs for my kids and hurry and grab a few puffs for myself. I'll be really interested to see where I weigh in on Monday.

Bad Back

Well I've had a minor set back. I have really hurt my back (no idea how). And yes, it's a bad back not a bad attitude. If anyone can tell me what movie that refers to I'll take you out for ice cream...I mean salad.

Seriously though it hurts to walk or move so working out is not an option for the next day or two...darn. Actually I'll take working out and being able to function over this any day of the week. I am still going to eat careful so I hopefully won't go up at all, we'll see.

Experiment

Weekend two is under my belt. And yes that belt is getting tighter! I weighed in this morning at 157.4!! How cool is that? I haven't seen that weight in over a year so I was pretty excited this morning. I was especially excited because I tried a little experiment. I am no good at going sans treats all the time. So Friday night I let myself have whatever I wanted. I had pizza from The Pie and a soda and five chocolate chip cookies. I got it all out of my system and then I was good for the rest of the weekend and it worked. I told myself if I weighed in at 159 or above I wouldn't be able to give myself the one night of freedom, but it looks like I will be able to after all...at least for now.

My second experiment is The Shred, some dvd from the "lady" on Biggest Loser. It is supposed to be pretty intense. It should arrive tomorrow and I am going to try it for four weeks and see what happens. It is only twenty minutes a day so I should be able to find time.

I need to find some sleep

Isn't part of being healthy getting enough sleep? I swear I read somewhere that it is harder to lose weight when you don't get enough sleep. If this is true than I'm in big trouble. The baby is cutting his first tooth and he has been up for three nights in a row. It's the kind of night where you are up and down so much that you actually feel more tired by morning. I want to get up early and do Pilate's in the morning, but when my alarm goes off during the longest sleep streak of the night (one and half hours) it's pretty hard to get out of bed.

To top it all off I've had a bad day. I've had the munchies all day and you can only eat so many rice cakes before you head for the hard stuff. I did pretty good until my daughter wanted Oreo's for an after school snack. I was weak. Then I do this thing where I feel like all is lost since I've blown it for the day so I had a nice large glass of chocolate milk for dinner. And the dreaded weekend is staring me in the face. I'm nervous...weekends are so hard for me.

15 calories burned

Yesterday I took the kids to the mall. We don't go very often but when we do we love to get pretzel bites and people watch. Well I like to people watch, the kids like to climb around on the bench. I love the pretzel bites so much, but like brownie night I was in control. Usually I divvy out the bites something like four for me, one for them. Yesterday I ate about three bites TOTAL! Yay me! But more interesting than my pretzel eating experience was watching all the different woman walk by. I couldn't help but notice the different shapes and sizes. I wondered which women were happy with their body and which were not. I wondered what it will take for me to be happy with mine.

On a different note, I did the stationary bike for a while last night. I've decided I have to be distracted while I exercise, although I recently read an article that suggested that people who watch themselves work out in a mirror burn more calories than those who watch TV. My desire to watch myself run on the treadmill is zero, it's not worth the extra calories. After my work out I came up to watch 24 with my husband. The problem is for whatever reason 24 has turned into my personal Ambien. So to stay awake I grabbed a 100 calorie pack of cookies. I only burned 115 calories on the bike, you do the math!

First Weekend

Well I've survived my first weekend. I did pretty good considering I went out out to eat...twice. And I ate more than I should have on Saturday night. But I weighed in at 160 this morning. So from Monday to Monday I lost three pounds. I can't complain about that. And there were a few times over the weekend I actually used great self control. Like, when I went to McGrath's for lunch with some friends. We ordered this outstanding artichoke crab dip, I wanted to pick up the bowl and just drink it down like soup, but I restrained myself and had only a little.

Our treadmill is back in working order so that will help with my exercise this week.

Bad blogger

I kind of suck at blogging. I think I am just too hungry to be cleaver! Things are going pretty good. I weighed in at 159.8 this morning. I am staying under my recommended calorie intake and it hasn't even been that hard. I need to do better with exercise. It is so hard with little kids though. By the time I get all of them in bed I'm exhausted myself. I woke up early two of the last four mornings and worked out. This is the area I need the most work. And I think I will hit a point, probably soon, that if I don't work out more I won't see my weight drop.

Counting Calories

Well it's official, I started my journey to a better me yesterday. I have to say it was a pleasant start. I wasn't overly hungry at any point. I didn't have a mental break down and hide in the pantry with a bag of chips. I didn't evan turn into a human vacuum and devour whatever was left on my kids plates at lunch. I ate smart, I counted my calories and felt pretty good about myself. I didn't let the food control me, I was in charge. That is big for me, because usually I am so tempted and I eat whatever I want. When I was hungry (two hours after my breakfast of eggs) I grabbed a fuze beverage, 10 calories, and sipped it for a while.

I ran into an exercise road block, I couldn't get the tread mill to work, but I should have been more diligent in getting it done. I did however get up at 6 AM and did some yoga. It was a little slow for my taste, but it's better than staying in bed until my kids come and beg me to get up.

And best of all I weighed in this morning at 161.8.

Winded

Usually I will only post once a day but another funny thing happened today and I just had to share because that is what this is all about. I also want to thank Jen and her friends for their comments. I love comments!

I was cleaning my bathroom today when my phone rang.

me: Hello
friend: Hey, oh sorry, were you working out or did you just run to grab the phone?

No I am not making this up. It's bad people, real bad.
Oh well three days and counting till I get serious. I think I'll go have a brownie while I still can.

Accountability

I've always secretly wanted to be a writer. Actually I'm not sure it's been so much of a secret and especially now. I've thought about doing a blog for a while, but I never know if I would have that much to blog about. I mean, I do stay at home with four kids, and life is pretty much insane but is it something other people want to read? Then the thought came to me to blog about my desire to loose weight. It would be scary, I'm really putting myself out there. But maybe, just maybe I can kill two birds with one stone. I can write and loose weight at the same time! My thought is, that it would make me be more accountable.

After my third baby we did a biggest loser with my husbands family, I lost something like 35 pounds. It was great, every time I went to eat something I shouldn't I thought about letting my team down and so I didn't do it. I think I ended up losing the most weight out of anyone (side note, I probably had the most to lose). I had my fourth baby in June of last year. I gained a whopping 70 pounds, yes that's right 7-0. I tipped the scale at 210 pounds. I've always gained a lot of weight during pregnancy, but it is usually 50 lbs and I usually stay around 190. Imagine my surprise when with six weeks to go I barreled right through that 200 pound mark. And so the weight battle begins.

I actually had a pretty good start, I had a c-section so I couldn't work out for a while and it was slow going. But I trained with my three sister's for a sprint triathlon this fall and the weight started coming off pretty good. The triathlon was one of the hardest things I've ever done physically (although I am certain I say this after every race I compete in). But this time I mean it! I finished 5th...from the last. I can actually tell you each person I beat, but I'll save that story for a different day.

Anyway, after the triathlon I decided to take some time off for the holidays. Right before Christmas I was weighing in at 159 lbs. But between no exercise and eating everything I wanted I am starting the year off at 163 lbs. My goal is to be at 135 lbs by my baby's first birthday, June 12. I know the actual weight "doesn't matter" and it's how your cloths fit and blah blah blah, but I like using weight as my measuring tool. I like to see the numbers go down week to week. June 12 is 22 weeks away from Monday January 12. My goal is 28 pounds. That is a little more than one pound a week. It seems achievable. But I know I can't do this without accountability and that is where this blog comes in. For example I'm not sure I would have eaten four (or five) cookie dough balls this morning if I knew someone besides my two-year-old knew about it. So I am doing this and I am going to be honest and it could get embarrassing but then that may make for good reading which is my other goal anyway...to write.

Work out??

I'm starting this whole "get in shape" thing Monday and it's about time. It's been a bad week. Not as bad as the Holiday's but there was a cookie dough incident and then there was an Oreo incident. I tell myself I'm just getting it all out of my system so I'm ready to rock and roll on Monday.

My plan is to write every night and go over the high or low points of the day, as well as my exercise plan from the day before. The exercise part is what I am dreading most. You know when you work out so much you think you're going to throw up? That actually happened to me...today...after I shoveled the driveway...and not even all of the drive way. There I was folding laundry and feeling the same nausea I feel after a good hard swim and it hit me, this is going to be hard.

I'm really excited about the blog though, this may actually work. I showed my first entry to my sister's and they liked the idea of a real, raw, honest blog. Jen actually likes the idea about commenting and helping each other out and I think it's a great idea. So please comment away on what you've eaten, why you love/hate exercise, what your goals are, ect. ect.